step into my insanity...
DISCLAIMER:: Do not read if you have eleven toes. Serious side effects may include: raging and trolling.
I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect.
Everyone needs to stop breaking everything down into their ugliest parts and explaining things.
don’t see things for each microscopic atom that makes itself into something so much larger.
Whoever made them, made them impossible to see, so obviously they aren't meant to be. try to go places that you’ve never been allowed to, to see things that no one else ever has.
Fact is, we will die. But the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.
something like a landmark, a piece of art, or even just a memory, as long as you get credit.
society is making an ideal picture that i don’t want to be apart of.-Crystal Bassous
#$!%^&**!!@
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Today tipped the balance on how shitty life can possibly get. My family has basically fallen apart and now I'm worried about how things will work out. I have faith that it will be for the best, but I still can't help but think that I might have to leave the ones I love and start over, and I don't think I'm strong enough to do that.
On the other hand, this turning point has brought some things to a different light. Like the fact that I am the rock that keeps my sister from making stupid choices or my mom from going off the deep end. Even though I probably couldn't support myself in a situation like this on my own, it's nice to see that I am appreciated and am actually needed, even if it isn't in the best of occurrences.
And also, it has also shown how much my friends appreciate me too, it's odd, before, it was always like there and gone. But with this new time (era?) it's forever, the friendships I have made. I've only told three people about this little set back, and I am pretty sure that with their help, I'll make it through. Actually scratch that, I am totally and completely sure that I will make it through this. I'm not the first person to deal with this sort of change, and sadly, and most certainly, I will not be the last.
It sucks, it really does, to see two people tear apart from each other, I don't think they actually realize how much it affects the audience, possibly more than it affects the people who began it all in the first place.
There is always two sides to one story of course, but in my opinion I do not care to hear a certain side because I know clearly that it is all bullshit. All my life, this and that, it doesn't matter what that person says to me anymore, it's done. I still love them of course, but there really isn't much else there, nothing else keeping this relationship alive, as much as the next one that comes along with nothing but that mutual feeling or obligation.
Aside from the crash course my life has taken, life outside the home has been picking up quite well. Friends, love, music, school work. I think I actually enjoyed a part of Religion class the other day, it was strange... Science, hm, finally started chemistry which is easy and just plain amazing, so I will enjoy flying through all that. Music, good news! Mr. A told me that during my senior years I can start playing trumpet as my secondary instrument! YAY! That means my mom and practically my entire family will be able to help me if I have difficulty doing this. Totally looking forward to that.
Also take note:: finally got the money for the Holly Springs Disaster show in March. OH WAIT. Marpril.
(Basically, Marpril=May/April and Julugust=July/August. Since October = eight and December = ten by combining those four months, it is apparent to then make October the eighth month and December the tenth. Follow along and spread the word, might start something...)
Anyways, the Holly Springs show, looking forward to that! Awesome hardcore bands, looking forward to just banging my head all night, letting all the stress escape from my body, it will be a night I will most definitely need I am guessing. Check Paparazzi for list of bands and Myspace pages and that jazz....
Z.
