step into my insanity...
DISCLAIMER:: Do not read if you have eleven toes. Serious side effects may include: raging and trolling.
I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect.
Everyone needs to stop breaking everything down into their ugliest parts and explaining things.
don’t see things for each microscopic atom that makes itself into something so much larger.
Whoever made them, made them impossible to see, so obviously they aren't meant to be. try to go places that you’ve never been allowed to, to see things that no one else ever has.
Fact is, we will die. But the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.
something like a landmark, a piece of art, or even just a memory, as long as you get credit.
society is making an ideal picture that i don’t want to be apart of.-Crystal Bassous
Again...
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I kind of get lost in my own little world sometimes, between the school stress and the family stress, there's the stress of trying to be a good girlfriend, friend and whatever else I need to do.
Plus now I've got the school newspaper, art's council, band and whatever else I'm apart of to look after too. Too many people depending on me; which could possibly result in disappointment. Which most likely, is my biggest fear. Failing others.
Like shit, I never knew that once I got old, I got
responsibilities, well, I did, but not like this you know?
And just now, like shit, my fucking mother, that dumb bitch. I have things to do, she can't see that she gets in my way. I'm tired of hearing, "you're so stupid" or "stop wasting my time" or my personal favorite "I wish I'd never had you".
Yup, that's dear old mom for you...
Guess I don't have to go to appointments anymore, since she doesn't feel like getting me help, but then again, who says I even
need the help? Fuck her. Fuck everything.
No one really get's what I'm going through, which is fine, I'd rather be dealing with it on my own without having to deal with pity or whatever the fuck I get these days.
Another thing is though, I don't know how to help my baby, there are obvious problems, but either I can't help or make things right or I'm not allowed to for whatever reason. It's like a wall is put up sometimes, and I can't climb over it and are not strong enough to tear it down. (Bad analogy I know). I love him so much, I wish I could do more for him, he deserves it, God knows he does, but I haven't found out how to help him other than being there for him...
Kind of upset that I have to give back my iTouch, lame. But still, I
did offer to give it back haha!
Really almost blew it last night. Did something stupid, broke a promise. I cannot remember the last or even first time I had disappointed someone like that, and to make matters worse, I
yelled at him. And he was the one mad at me, and the entire time, he never even once raised his voice. Foolish? Me? Yep.
I somehow manage to fuck up things, it's like I wake up and the world goes "here comes Sarah everyone run before she ruins you". Wouldn't surprise me at all.
Anyways...
DFTBA. (But really, you probably will).
