x
x
x
x

step into my insanity...

DISCLAIMER:: Do not read if you have eleven toes. Serious side effects may include: raging and trolling.

I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. Everyone needs to stop breaking everything down into their ugliest parts and explaining things. don’t see things for each microscopic atom that makes itself into something so much larger. Whoever made them, made them impossible to see, so obviously they aren't meant to be. try to go places that you’ve never been allowed to, to see things that no one else ever has. Fact is, we will die. But the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. something like a landmark, a piece of art, or even just a memory, as long as you get credit. society is making an ideal picture that i don’t want to be apart of.-Crystal Bassous

I am a free willed type of person who creates styles for the fun of it;
A human dynamite, don't trigger me- I may explode anytime.
AN EXQUISITE ELEMENT of the periodic table, unlikely you'll ever know.
I hate people who do not study for exams, you need to work for what you want.
optimistic, there'll always be a rainbow after a rain, no matter how aggressive the rain is, just look for that silver lining in life.
Nothing can stop me from reaching my dreams !
Sometimes I can be a little crazy , okay.. insane
What's my secret to happiness? Music, family, friends and love ♪ just press play . ►
Sarah
Sixteen.
Canadian.Portuguese.Guyanese.
Scorpio.
Catholic.
Musician./Photographer/Doodler/Writer

So today is December 31. The last day of 2009.
For this day, I get to go to Kingston to spend New Years Eve with my boyfriend and my mom and sister, along with some family and their friends.
I hope it's as fun as I hope it's going to be, but there is little doubt in my mind that it won't meet my expectations. As low as they are.
New Years Eve has never been special for me really, we'd all fall asleep and one of us would starting banging shit, and then we would all go to bed, no biggie. This year, I have someone I truly care for and love to spend it with, so that's a bonus, and it's all I need.

DFTBA.
See you in 2010.

hap⋅pi⋅ness

---

Antonyms:
1. misery.

This quote shows how I see ourselves when we're together, how it...hopefully feels to you as much as it does to me...

words paint a much more romantic picture. He focuses of the fluidity of her body, the way her hands feel against his face, the way his hands feel against her body. He is active; his desire for her paramount. As he relives the scene after she falls asleep, he is content with not taking any of her clothes off; he is content with just kissing and touching.

This is....everything.
This is...perfection.

I don't want to be around anymore.
I think, to be honest, that everyones lives would be so much simpler if I wasn't here. Like, my being here makes everything worse and if I had never met any of these people...their lives would be so much better.
Just existing makes everyone upset. I ruin everything, and I'm just evil for doing so.

So what is the point?
There is none. That's the point I think. Which probably makes going away easier.
Nobody would miss me. I doubt that anyone would blink twice when they realized I wasn't around.

Happy New Years everyone.

Friends Collection, almost complete! Still need seasons two, three and ten. (haha the three t's). But yeah, watching season nine right now, hopefully there are some episodes on this season that I haven't seen yet.

Stuff fell apart at the house today. Celena is a stuck up bitch sometimes and doesn't care about anyone but herself which then set my mom off and she had one of her bitch fits. She yelled at me, but... I'm not getting into at all, I just shut the hell up and ate my damn dinner.

DFTBA.

Life is going pretty swell, minus the minor altercation that just happened a moment ago. My mother is so up tight all the time, and Celena...well she's just your typical stuck up teenager.

But besides that, the past few days have been pretty nice, bowling with my baby and his sister and her boyfriend. Then shopping yesterday with the same people haha, which was fun, minus some perverts at the food court. Got some nice stuff, don't have any money left too.
Going shopping again today, with my mom and sister, which kind of blows, because I'm so tired of shopping, two days in a row is not cool. Plus, we're going to Sherway or whatever, so it's super far, and I'm so sick and tired of being in cars for long periods of time, I need a break. I just want to stay home and relax before school starts again *sigh*.

Got some new books! (Yeah, I realize that it's nerdy to be excited about books, but whatever) and I've started reading them all, and they are all so good I don't know which one to focus on first! I got Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson. Jump Cut (it's a Criminal Minds book) by Max Allan Collins and I also got this book The Musicians Daughter by Susanne Dunlap, it's like a historical fiction book and one of the characters is Haydn, so it's pretty interesting, I think I'm farthest in this book than any of the others.

New Years Eve is coming soon! Planned to go to Nathan Phillips Square with the same people as bowling and shopping, and hopefully it won't be too chilly. I hope it's a magical night. I've always wanted to spend New Years with someone I loved, besides family of course. And it is one of those things that I will want to keep doing with that same person every year. Hopefully :)

Alright well, time to go drag myself around some giant ass mall, I just realized, I've never actually been through the entire Sherway Gardens before, I think I've only been on the first floor, unless I am thinking of a different mall....which most likely is the case. Oh, I am. I'm thinking of that huge ass mall we went to in Ottawa on the grade ten history trip. That was fun times, and also....yeah good times but also some stupid mistakes. We'll leave it at that.

DFTBA!!

I wanna type...but I don't? You know what I mean.

Like, I need to type something, but there is nothing to type about, which results in pointless entries like this one...

Today was basically a laze around day. Was supposed to go boxing day shopping but those plans flopped, so today is just a day. Watching a marathon of all those Bring It On movies, they're actually really enjoyable, I love cheerleading movies, even if it is peppy and strange haha.
And I love the drama, mostly because it's not my own, but at some points if I were in the same position, I would have hit the bitch, especially in the third movie. I'd punch Winnie in the face :)

Anyways, besides that, nothing else is new, trying to decide on what I really should buy tomorrow whe I go shopping, if I even go, but yeah...

Just remembered that I have homework to do and I was supposed to keep a journal of one thing I'm greatful for each day, I haven't even started. Most likely, I am going to make everything up off the top of my hair the last day of the break. Otherwise, I'm going to be slaving away on my Frankenstein questions.

To be honest, I wish Christmas had never ended. Things were happier.

DFTBA...

OH MAN
Best Christmas ever I gotta say.
Lots of family
FOOD
and love of course ;D

I'll post more maybe tomorrow or whenever I'm free during this whirlwind of family and friends and crazy plans, or you know, playing around on my new laptop, so now I can post whenever the fuck I want :)

So hope everyone is having a safe and wonderful Christmas
♥♥

DFTBA

If I hear Grown Up Christmas List one more time, I will punch whats-her-face-from-cocoa-house in the damn face.

Anyways, let's start from yesterday shall we?
Actually, no, first, rest in peace Brittany Murphy :(.

Okay.

Yesterday was pretty damn enjoyable, disregarding a few minor incidents that happened...okay one incident, and it technically, to me anyway, was not minor.
But I won't even get into it, because I regret it and the more I dwell on it, the worse it will become. Plus, I don't want to make him feel like he didn't anything wrong.
But besides that, yesterday was fun, I finally feel more or less comfortable at Matthew's house, I trust that his parents like me haha. Now I've just got to win over the rest of his family sooner or later. Yeah, the butterflies in my stomach love that idea.
So Christmas Eve is tomorrow :D So excited! Get to go over to Matthew's again for like...an hour haha just to trade gifts and wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I really hope he likes what I got him, I asked a lot of people if what I got him was good, so it better be.

So anyways, I lost my train of thought...

DFTBA

and in case I don't blog soon, MERRY CHRISTMAS TWATS :D ♥
(what is...twats?)

The title is how I'm feeling right about now.
I'm so upset with myself that I can't even write what I'm feeling...

Christmas Holidays are here, shouldn't I be happy?
Nope.

My mother is totally ruining my life.
She's miserable, and I can understand her actions...most of the time.
But let me tell you how she can't make up her mind and somehow does not want my sister and I to be happy, because she wants to be miserable together. Of course.

Besides that, kind of bummed about New Years now. Not going to get into it though, I was pumped to actually go out and do something. Alas...you can't always get what you want right?

The countdown to Christmas break is officially on, which is a bright side to this entire week I guess.
Four days until this long awaited break, that G_d knows I need.

Is it just me, or is it really difficult to buy people presents? I never know what to get people, and I'm always afraid that they won't like it... or that they'll think I'm cheap or something, it's not fair! I know some people who get me the best presents, and beside what they gave me, I may as well have given them a pair of socks...

dftba..

I have he best taste in books.
I think it's a pretty safe thing to say that I really do. Or maybe I don't, and Rachelle is the only one who appreciates my fine tastes.

Aside from my amazing taste...

JACK'S fucking MANNEQUIN is coming to Toronto, and like. IM FUCKING GOING.
I don't care how, but I'm going to that concert. I will not miss this opportunity!
Although...I'm probably not willing to break the law or anything, but still, I will like... sell my iPod for a ticket to that concert. Okay...maybe not. Oh darn.

Christmas is soon, I can't wait. I'm so sick of school, especially English and Religion class. I just want to flip out everyday in that class, stupid bitchy teachers...

Looking forward to the holidays though, on new years, I plan on going skating with the love of my life in Toronto. Personally, I know it's sappy, but it's also romantic, even if it was my idea. But still, I would quite enjoy it, since my New Years usually sucks or is spent with family as I miss fun parties and all that.

Hmmm, this blog seem a bit choppy and random, apologies, looking for books that Rachelle may enjoy...

DFTBA!

I think my father has messed me up. The way he treated my mother, what's going on with this whole messy divorce... It's definitely taking a huge toll on me, and on my relationships...
I'm so afraid of ending up like my mother...unhappy, abused, alone. I will do everything in my power to make sure I'm not like that and my sister isn't either.
I sometimes feel like he is like my father, and it scares me to death.
Because, I wouldn't be able to leave.
He could yell and beat me and do whatever, and I wouldn't leave.
I'd be like my mother, almost. I wouldn't technically be alone.
I would never leave.
To be honest, there's only a slight chance that that might happen, but everyone has their bad days.
I'm just afraid of how many bad days there will be. And if there will be more bad days than good.
I would never leave.

I'm not going to stress over you anymore, it isn't worth it. I'm not trying to say I don't want you because I definitely do. All I'm saying is I'm done chasing after you. Good night.. I hate that feeling that comes with crying. Tears stinging my eyes as I try to hold them back. It gets hard to breath. I can't hide it now

self⋅ish

1.	devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

2.	characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

Snowflake dance.
I swear, a night I'll never forget.

Mouse♥
Rachelle♥
Tweeter
Sunkset
Tumblr

January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010

designer: x
resources: x x x x