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step into my insanity...

DISCLAIMER:: Do not read if you have eleven toes. Serious side effects may include: raging and trolling.

I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. Everyone needs to stop breaking everything down into their ugliest parts and explaining things. don’t see things for each microscopic atom that makes itself into something so much larger. Whoever made them, made them impossible to see, so obviously they aren't meant to be. try to go places that you’ve never been allowed to, to see things that no one else ever has. Fact is, we will die. But the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. something like a landmark, a piece of art, or even just a memory, as long as you get credit. society is making an ideal picture that i don’t want to be apart of.-Crystal Bassous

I am a free willed type of person who creates styles for the fun of it;
A human dynamite, don't trigger me- I may explode anytime.
AN EXQUISITE ELEMENT of the periodic table, unlikely you'll ever know.
I hate people who do not study for exams, you need to work for what you want.
optimistic, there'll always be a rainbow after a rain, no matter how aggressive the rain is, just look for that silver lining in life.
Nothing can stop me from reaching my dreams !
Sometimes I can be a little crazy , okay.. insane
What's my secret to happiness? Music, family, friends and love ♪ just press play . ►
Sarah
Sixteen.
Canadian.Portuguese.Guyanese.
Scorpio.
Catholic.
Musician./Photographer/Doodler/Writer

I love the way you look at me, the way you make me smile. I can't resist your irresistable lips or your eyes, or the softneess of your touch.
I love the way you grab and hold me tight, because it feels like you never really want to let go.
I love the way you into my eyes, and even if I'm upset or hurting, I know that everything will be better because I'm right here with you.
The way you kiss me, says more than words could ever say.
The way you hold me, brush my hair out of my face. The way you ...the way you talk to me, and reassure me even when I don't believe in myself.
I love the way you love me, because you do it better, so much better, than anyone else.

Rest In Peace Miep Gies :(

Just felt like I needed to blog today.

So I found out that one of my old friends is a lying....I would say whore, but that's mean.
I probably shouldn't go into the story because other people might get involved and it's really none of my business and I really wish I didn't know anything about it in the first place, so...I won't go into it.

Today though, I prefected the prologue of my novel (haha) and have a main idea of the plot, but it's still pretty vague, to be honest. I may just wing it as I go along. Hopefully all goes well.

Picked up two new books over the weekend, this huge as book that's around 800-900 pages that is pretty good, the first chapter made me cry a little, so you know its a riveting tale haha. The second book is by Judy Blume ! Which I am excited to read because I love her novels.

Today, I discovered that even though some people really don't care about how you are or whatever, there are some people, some very very few people that actually do care. I found that out today, and I kind of feel bad because I'm so used to people not caring it's like...what do I do now? It's almost like I'm taking advantage of the person because I probably don't need them worrying about me in the first place you know?

Anyways, phone...

DFTBA.

I have the best boyfriend in the world. I quite possibly, am dating the best guy ever. Yeah, I truly believe that that is possible.
I used to worry about never feeling this feeling, you know, falling in love, and actually having that feeling returned back to you, perhaps even greater than you did in the first place.
I think I love him more though, but he likes to think he does, so...we'll let him think that for now... haha.
I'm so grateful for getting to be with someone who means so much to me, and who truly loves me and makes me feel comfortable. I love not being able to even think about being with anyone else, because I know that no one else works like we do.

"there's some boy out there that's going to like you for everything you are, including the things you don't like about yourself, and those will be the things he will like the most"

So one. Glee is the best show ever.
And two, I am loving this happy period in my life right now. Even though exams are pretty soon and classes are getting real busy, I am so happy.
Do you know why I'm happy? Because I have the love of my life in my life haha.
And I love that because I am happy, he is happy, I never realized it was truly that simple. I think all this time, I was just overthinking everything and worrying about what I needed to not do instead of what I needed to do do (haha).

DFTBA.

You've probably noticed the new layout, I know, I love editing HTML and stuff like that, I promise I won't change it for a while, this took a while to do anyway, so yeah, hope you like it and it should be easier to rad than the one before.

Even though I was dreading going back to school today, it was surprisingly good, I actually had fun (minus first period religion). English went by pretty fast, music was fun as always and Anthro...I can't really complain, there was just a lot of note taking today, and most likely it will be the same tomorrow.

Everything is going great though, I feel a lot better and even though exams are coming up, I don't quite feel nervous about them yet, that may change, but as for now, it's looking pretty good.
Everything with my love is going seemingly well, he bought me Starbucks today and brought it to my class ♥ How thoughtful and sweet.
DFTBA.

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

#2 When she misses you, she's hurting inside.

#3 When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.

#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.

#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.

#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.

#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.

#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.

#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

#13 When she's scared, protect her.

#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

#17 When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

#25 Don't let her have the last word.

#26 Don't call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.

#29 When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.

#30 When she says she's OK, don’t believe it, talk to
her about it, because 10 yrs later she'll still remember it.

#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

#33 Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

#34 Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.

#35 Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

#37 Let her into your world.

#38 Let her wear your clothes.

#39 When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

#40 Let her know she's important.

#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.

#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too.

Okay, so I am going to list my resolutions that I have now, I may add more throughout January as I think of them.

• get in shape
• stop procrastinating
• get a job
• stop being such a crybaby
• stop causing fights
• learn to suck it up and deal with things
• learn to ask for help more often
• get my grades in shape
• love even harder than ever
• start eating properly
  
• stop procrastinating
• STOP PROCRASTINATING
• get into a good university (but i guess that counts for next year too)
• at least attempt ideas for a book
• write in my blog at least once a month (which should be no problem at all)
• change at least one persons life for the better

This year hasn't started off as spectacular as I thought it would have. I feel like shit, like...I can't stop crying, I can't get inspired to do anything productive, when I do do something, I'm zoned out and not into it at all. I can't shake this feeling off. What's worse, for some reason I feel like my relationship isn't going well, most likely because of the way I am feeling right now, that is probably effecting it. There might not even be anything wrong, but I have this nagging feeling that there might be, and no one is going to tell me anything anytime soon. I want to talk to him about this, but sometimes he doesn't listen, or I get so upset over...to be honest, nothing, and there is no communication. We can't really talk like adults, and it worries me, but I think that that will pass eventually, it's just a little rut, I think. No, I hope.
I don't know how to talk about this with him, I don't what to say exactly to express how I feel, I just feel, that we're so routine now and it's...boring? No. I don't know exactly what it is anymore. Maybe it's just this rut I am in personally that is making me feel this way, and when I think about it, it does make a lot of sense.
So I don't really know what I'm going to do about it right now...we will see how I try and get out of this stupid, stupid problem with my emotions. This should be a great year, but right now, I seem to be holding myself back, I need more motiviation, I need...I don't know what I need.

I really needed you tonight. A break down in the middle ofdinner while company is over probably...technically qualifies as a need to talk to you. You said that whenever I needed to talk to you, whenever I felt that I needed to take things out on myself, you would be there....But tonight, you let me down.


So New Years was pretty amazing. Minus (of course) sonme minor (and one major) details.
Drinking a little bit, probably not the best idea, especially while listening to catchy songs that I apparently try to dance and sing to and fail miserably, but it's all in good fun.
Getting to spend New Years Eve with the love of my life is something I will never want to miss again, I can't wait to do it next year and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that...
Had a little scare on the first day of 2010, but... well it's fixed, I guess, but somehow I am still shaken up about it and just...I feel terrible. Just...seeing him jerk away from me, and all I could do was stand there...It was horrifying. I never want that to happen again.
But besides that, I think it was pretty darn fun, and worth all the trouble and the crap with my mother, she got what she wanted and I got to spend the holidays with my love. Good deal.

DFTBA this 2010 :)

Note to self: Keep that new year's resolution.
Second note to self: stop being so negative this year
Third note to self: GET IN SHAPE
Fourth note to self: Get a damn job.

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